“Nineteen things I’ve learned before I turned nineteen.
1. Always carry $5 and a lighter with you (even if you don’t smoke).
2. Ask every person you meet how their day is going. Genuinely ask with the soul intention of learning how their day is. Ask the coffee shop employee. Ask the person next to you in line at Walmart. Ask your distant friend. Ask everyone.
3. Take many photos of yourself. Take photos of yourself when you’re happy. Take photos of yourself when you’re sad. Take photos of yourself because there are millions of trees in the world, and we all look at the same sky, but there is only one of you.
4. Stay in contact with your parents. Try not to hate them. They are the reason you have the ability to feel anything at all. Try not to hate your parents.
5. Opening your skin will not set your demons free. Open your heart. Open your mind. Open your hands.
6. Nobody knows anybody completely. That’s okay.
7. Be gentle, but be aggressive. Take a stand. Nobody hears your voice if you stay silent.
8. Respect everybody. We are all humans trying to survive. We all deserve respect.
9. Wearing black will ALWAYS make you feel better about yourself.
10. Always give tips, whether it be a couple extra dollars or a piece of mind. You never know how much you could be helping someone.
11. Change is the only thing consistent in life. Do not allow that bother you. Embrace chance and move with life, whichever direction it chooses to take you.
12. Smile often. Smile at strangers. Smile at your friends. Smile when nobody is looking and you’re alone in your bedroom. Smile when somebody is rambling to you.
13. Body image means nothing. Your body is merely just a seatbelt in the car. Your body is here to protect you. You choose the direction you go, and your body will not hold you back. Only you can hold yourself back.
14. Don’t hold grudges. Don’t allow yourself to hate anybody. Forgive them. Learn to love them for the person you never got to see them to be. Believe that a beautiful human exists in that person. Wish them well.
15. Drink orange juice. Lots of it.
16. Don’t allow the opinions of others to choose your destiny. We are all simply trying to live our own life.
17. Sing all the time. Sing off key. Sing in a silly voice. Sing like you’re on stage. Sing no matter who is around. Singing is breathing for the soul. Sing.
18. Take time to think. Write your feelings down. Write letters to the people you love. Texting is overrated and not as heartfelt as a nice handwritten letter.
19. Live for yourself. Breathe for yourself. Do everything in your life for nobody but you. This is your life. This is it.”—
God, I just feel so out of sync with the universe right now. I feel sad for so many reasons. I feel so lonely. Like earlier I went grocery shopping. and it was really warm, and they were playing christmas music. and everyone was coupled up, like grocery shopping together and laughing and talking about holiday plans and I just started thinking about how lonely I am, and how I wish I were loved, and had someone to pick out groceries with, and I just couldn’t move for a few minutes. Like, I just stood there. The sadness I feel is so heavy. and it isn’t like, i don’t know. I’m just so bad at being alone, and I don’t know why being with someone is such an ultimate priority for my life right now, because there are a million other things that I need to be worrying about. but I don’t know. I just need to like, get over it, and move on, and think about more productive things. Being alone is just a reality right now, I guess. I don’t know.
To be quite honest, all I want to do is spend time with you. We could be sleeping, eating, showering, watching movies, just laying down together, playing games, reading, doing homework, walking around, driving around, at a park, at home, at the mall, at a restaurant, at night, in the morning, in the afternoon; we could be anywhere, doing anything, and I would be happy just because I’d be with you.
alright well, I’ve just deleted every single photograph of me I’ve ever posted that was in my tagged/me section. I’ve had this blog since I was a junior in high school. 5 years. I don’t trust men with their entitled, masochistic, self-absorbed bullshit. I’m fully enraged.